


But Last Night You Said You Loved Me

by SouthKensingtonStn



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut?, M/M, Queen 1975, Roger has an angel on his shoulder, Suicidal Thoughts, mention of sexual assault
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:21:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28858776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SouthKensingtonStn/pseuds/SouthKensingtonStn
Summary: Brian and Roger have had a major row that's left them both shaking. This wasn't abnormal, they often disagreed bout everything and anything but this was different because the night before Brian had told Roger he was in love with him. Now Roger doubts that and feels like his world has imploded and he has nowhere to run to.Brian is shocked at his own behaviour towards the drummer and thinks he has left it too late to make amends because Roger has been viciously attacked and is being secretive about what happened.
Relationships: Brian May/Roger Taylor
Comments: 21
Kudos: 39





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like this new angsty Maylor. Will those two ever get together and play nice?

Brian and Roger had never really gotten along for more than a day or two before one or the other would make a nasty or sarcastic remark and the argument would be on. Freddie and John were so used to it that they hardly noticed. It never got in the way of them making good music together and John had his suspicions that the spark to these arguments was their singer who enjoyed the show.

Today wasn't any different and John was sure he had heard Freddie call out something to Brian about Roger and the guitarist stomping over to the drum riser, waving his arms like a lunatic on the street. Then the unmistakable sound of the bass drum getting thumped and a crash of the cymbals in answer.

John rolled his eyes and tried out a few chords and adjusted the amp. He could see Roger in his direct line of sight and was actually horrified with what he saw. They had only had a smoke together a few minutes ago and the drummer had been his usual joking self and had told the bassist a couple of funny stories about Freddie that he'd never heard before. But this minute the drummer looked as if his world had fallen in on itself. His eyes were too bright and he seemed to be holding his breath.

John played a couple of discordant chords to get the drummer attention. That was their code and it worked. Roger looked up and John raised his eye brows. Roger nodded he was okay but he obviously wasn't. John shrugged and turned and glanced at Brian who was staring at the floor. Great, this would be a wonderful rehearsal session, John thought.

The night before Roger had gone up for a smoke during one of their many parties. He was the biggest partier of the bunch alongside Fred but he liked a quiet smoke sometimes and had to disengage two girls off his arms to get away. He was never unkind and just told them he was going to the loo. He made sure they both had a drink and nodded to John to move over and keep them busy. Girls liked John. The shyer the bloke the more of a challenge for them.

It was a clear night which made it colder but the stars were out and Roger was just thinking if Brian was there he'd be pointing out all the constellations and boring the pants off him. Just as he thought this and blew his first smoke ring the guitarists curly haired head popped up over the edge of the roof.

"Hey, Rog. Mind if I join you, mate? Brian heaved his lanky form and walked the slightly sloped roof to where the drummer was sitting.

Roger was going to make a snarky remark that it looked like he didn't have much choice but bit it back. He imagined John shaking his head at him. The bassist was the good angel on his shoulder.

"I saw you take off and thought it's a good idea. Here." Brian pulled a can of lager out of one pocket and handed it t the blond before reaching in his jacket for the second one for himself.

"Thanks." Roger smirked. Brian was kind of sweet sometimes. Just a bit bossy but maybe that was the teacher in him.

"Rehearsal tomorrow, yeah?" Brian wasn't sure how to start a conversation with Roger, sometimes. The blond man had no idea how nervous he made Brian, sometimes. The guitarist hid his awkwardness with snide remarks and offhand comments and it seemed to work. He had never admitted to anyone how just being a few inches away from the drummer made his palms sweat.

"Yeah. New songs." Roger replied. This was awkward. Brian didn't usually want to hang out with him. They'd been closer at one time but some disagreement, long forgotten, had cause a rift between them that had never been fixed.

"I like that one of yours. What's it called again" Brian smiled.

Roger was about to say if he liked it why couldn't he remember the name but he bit back the comment. The angel had nudged him.

"Drowse." The drummer nodded and sipped his beer as he stretched his legs out.

"Right. Drowse. Different from your usual..."

"My usual what?" The angel had fallen off his shoulder and was dusting itself off on the roof tiles.

"It's poetic?" Brian gave a weak smile. "Look, Rog. Can't we just try to get along like we did before?" Brian sighed and looked up at the stars rather than meet those disconcertingly blue eyes.

"Yeah, I guess. I wrote it with someone in mind. Roger was thinking about the song. It was about the past when he and Brian had been better friends and laughed together and shared girls and just had a better time.

"Oh, I didn't know." Brian looked at the drummer for a few seconds longer and tilted his head back. "The stars are all out."

"Mmm. Looks like it" Roger hoped he wasn't in for a lecture. He was tired and really wanted to be alone and not reminded of the song and what it meant. He could never tell the older man that it was about their friendship. Never.

"Who did you write it for, Rog?" Brian seemed to know. He glanced at the blond and then looked away. "I'm sorry, Rog. I've been picking on you a lot lately." Brian confessed and waited for the drummer's response.

"S'right." Roger frowned and blew out his cheeks. Where was this going, anyway?

Brian leaned over and put his hand on the blonds arm and left it there. "Really, I am sorry." He said softly.

Roger looked down at the hand expecting the guitarist to remove it but when he didn't he looked into the hazel eyes questioningly. They stayed like that for a few moments and then Brian did take his hand away but Roger could still feel the pressure of his fingers and the warmth that had filtered through his leather jacket and shirt.

"Did I ever tell you that I had a crush on you when we first met? At the addition?" Brian said so quietly that Roger wondered if the brunette knew he was talking aloud.

"No." Roger said slowly wondering if this was going to be followed by something biting. He didn't want to get sucked into anything. "Really?

"Yeah, I did." Brian nodded and smiled as if seeing something from long away in the past. "It was quite bad, in fact." 

"I don't believe it." Roger shook his head and paid attention to his cigarette. 

"Why not?" Brian frowned and leaned against the chimney stack.

"Cause you always act like such a dick to me." Roger sighed. Was this really happening?

"Not surprised I had a crush are you.?Vanity thy name is Roger Meddows Taylor." Brian chuckled.

"You're not gay for one thing." Roger said sensibly.

"There are exceptions to every rule, Rog." Brian said quietly and held his breath. He'd only himself to blame for starting this conversation. He should go but then something stopped him.

"Rog, are you crying?" He leaned forward to look at the blonds face. There were tears streaming down it and Roger was making no attempt to hide them. Brian pulled a Kleenex out of his pocket and dabbed at his face.

"I'm sorry, Rog. I shouldn't have said anything. It's all in the past." He stroked back the blonds hair and looked into his eyes.

"Why are you so sad?" He whispered but he knew why. He had always known, he guessed. "Oh, Rog. Come here." He pulled the blond into his arms. "I love you." He whispered. 

"For fucks sake, Rog. Pay attention for once." Brian had glared across the rehearsal studio and had sounded so venomous that John and Freddie had noticed. The bass drum got kicked a couple of times and a pair of drumsticks came flying over their heads followed by a loud stomping and the soundproof door slamming.

"Great." Freddie sat down on a chair and looked towards the guitarist. "What the fuck, yourself, Brian." He rolled his eyes. "John, go get him back. Get a smoke and a coffee or a bird, or something. Whatever to calm him down."

John nodded and pulled the guitar strap over his head and went out. He expected to see Roger around the corner, leaning over the fence having a smoke and trying to calm down but he wasn't there. He walked around the side of the building to the street and saw the drummer walking away and around a corner. Probably to the pub, he thought. 

"Better go back and tell them." He said to himself. That would be the end of the rehearsal. Freddie would be furious. Not at Roger who anyone who know was sensitive especially after a night of drinking, but with Brian who should have known better. The bassist just wished those two would settle their differences and get along. 

It was getting dark even before Roger left the studio. He felt like an hysterical prat but the thought of staying and acting like he wasn't upset was impossible. What had happened between last nights confession on the rooftop and this morning? They had parted the night before with a tight embrace and a chaste kiss. But it was a kiss and the drummer had suddenly felt as if his world was righting itself once again. He got sucked into the moment and hated himself for being so weak.

"Fuck, where am I?" He'd thought he'd been walking to Worlds's End but this wasn't the familiar pub. He frowned but the signs made no sense to him. He could see what looked like a pub in the distance. He'd ask the barmaid where they were and get a taxi if it was too far from home. 

The patrons of the pub looked a bit dodgy. Something out of an old film and his first instinct was to leave but he needed a drink and a pee in that order. He asked for a Jack Daniels and asked where the loo was. The barmaid had actually looked worried when she pointed it out and whispered something to one of the barmen who nodded. A few seconds later a couple of what looked like biker types had walked past the bar and the girl reached for the phone

"Rog? I can't understand you, mate? Where are you?" John had answered the phone and was nodding and looking over at Freddie and Brian who were sitting on the couch. Brian got up.

"Okay, do you need to go to the hospital? Well, we'll decide that when we get you. We're on the way." John put down the phone.

"What's happened?" Brian had gone pale.

"Rog got beaten up at the pub somewhere near World's End. He's at a phone box near the Crown Pub. Do you know where it is Fred?" John was reaching for the van keys and grabbing his jacket. "You both coming?" He asked and Brian nodded, not bothering to go to his room for his jacket. 

"It must be close by."John was peering into the fog. "I'll pull up here and we can call check the phone boxes. John pulled up and Brian went across to the other side of the street. Freddie went one way and John the other calling Roger's name. Finally, they heard Brian say he'd found him. The blond was slumped inside a phone booth on the wet ground. There was a cut on his forehead and blood on his face and neck. His eyes were half closed and Brian thought his heart was breaking just seeing him. 

"John! I need help." Brian called out. The two musicians each took and arm and pulled Roger gently to his feet and into the light to look at his injuries. 

"Rog, so you think anything is broken?" John asked gently. He always knew how to talk to the drummer. 

"I don't think so." Roger's voice was hoarse and he thought he was going to pass out again. "Feel sick." He gasped and turned his head away to vomit onto the sidewalk.

"Hospital, I think." John nodded at Freddie and threw him the keys. "He might have internal injuries." 

Brian and John helped the drummer into the back of the van and Freddie started up the engine. The blond put his head back and felt comforted having his two friends on either side of him. He tried hart not to be sick again but once they were out into the cold air and the bright lights of the hospital he passed out and Brian had to carry him in.

Brain felt sick with worry. It was all his fault. He knew it and he knew John and Freddie did, too. He couldn't believe that just 24 hours ago he had told Roger he loved him and then thrown that out the window with a nasty comment. He didn't deserve the blond in his life. He knew he never had. He'd made a complete balls up of the whole thing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you think the story worth going on with please let me know via comment :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger is recovering from the assault but some disturbing facts are out in the open and Brian is worried that Roger is hiding something more serious because of his embarrassment.

They managed to get only bits of what had happened to Roger in the pub and realized even though he had been hurt it could have been worse, thanks to the quick thinking bar staff. But as much as Brian felt guilty for what ha happened Roger felt it was his own fault for storming off like that. But right now he hurt so much all over he let himself be fussed over by the nurses and his friends.

Roger was allowed to go home with pain killers and cold packs for his head. He refused to stay overnight but though they didn't think there were any eternal injuries he still had to watch out for any blood in his pee. He rolled his eyes at this and the nurse giggled because she recognized him and thought he was the cutest one in the band. She managed to slip telephone number into his jacket pocket before he left and he blew her a kiss at the doorway as his friends helped him walk to the car.

Brian noticed the gesture and felt a pang. Maybe he had been wrong about telling Roger how he felt last night. 'Stop it Brian. You're overthinking, again." He thought to himself as he helped Roger up the stairs. He could feel the drummer leaning against him as they unlocked the flat door and it was a nice feeling. The drummer was such an independent person that he had never relied on Brian for anything. Scratch that, he thought. He relied on you to be honest with him. Now, he thinks you were just fucking around with him last night.

John and Freddie took over and got the drummer safely in bed with pillows behind him. John had put the pain killers on the bedside table but thought better of it and before Roger noticed he took them and put them in the kitchen. Didn't want any accidental overdoses after all this, he thought. Freddie nodded when he saw what he was doing.

"Rog, let us know if you need any pain killers, yeah?" The singer sat on the edge of the blond bed.

'Sure, I'm okay. Just want to sleep." Roger yawned. He wouldn't have minded a small whiskey but was pretty sure that would get vetoed. He'd been pumped full of stuff at the hospital.

"Rog?" Brian was standing in the doorway and Roger's natural instinct was to frown at him but the taller man looked so sad that he managed a sincere smile and indicated he could come in.

"Rog, I'm really sorry." Brian stood, arms crossed but the blond was not in the mood to let him off lightly. He knew it wasn't the guitarists fault that he'd wandered into the wrong pub and got the shit kicked out of him. He was thinking about what caused him to storm out of the studio. Part of him hated himself for being so fragile but Brian just couldn't make out with him and day and fuck him over the next.

"Doesn't matter." The blond shook his head but it did matter. He felt like crying now that he was home and safe and he wanted Brian to hold him.

"Okay if I sit down?" Brian asked quietly and Roger nodded. "Does it hurt much?" Brian put his head to one side. "I mean, can I hug you?' he added and smirked.

"Doesn't hurt much. Pain killers." The blond pressed his lips together. Trust Brian to ask permission he thought but smiled as he was enfolded in the long arms. He leaned his head against the guitarists neck and sighed. This was nice. Really nice. More than nice, in fact. He closed his eyes and within a few seconds was fast asleep.

Brian had the problem of staying or gently lifting the blond off him and back onto the bed. But, he decided to stay put. Freddie or John would understand he hoped but the other two had gone to bed. It was very late, even for them. He eased himself back on the pillows and pulled the covers up over Roger who's head was on his chest. God knows what the other two would say.

Roger woke up in a panic. Not knowing where he was and unaware that the arms around him were loving ones he struggled to sit up but the pain seared through him and he gasped.

"Rog? it's okay, It's me. You're home and safe." Brian reached over to turn on the lamp. The blonds blue eyes were frightened and he stared at Brian a few moments and then his eyes focused and he smiled.

"Sorry, thought I was in that toilet in the pub." He dropped his head back down. 

"Toilet?' Brian stroked back the blonds hair. He thought Roger had been attacked outside the pub. He wanted to ask what happened but the drummer was already asleep. Brian looked down on the angelic face and felt sick to think of what may have happened. Roger was pretty drugged up and may be suppressing some things.

Roger thought he was dreaming when he woke in the morning and realised that it was Brian he was sleeping on. He decided to pretend he was unaware and snuggled closer, pushing his face into the other mans neck to warm up his cold nose. He heard Brian make a noise in his sleep and kiss his forehead. Roger smirked and sighed. 

"Rog?" Freddie had just left Roger's room after giving him a sandwich for lunch. The drummer looked pale and more fragile than he had the night before which surprised the singer but he didn't say anything. He gave him two of the pain killers and made sure he was comfortable. he thought he might have a problem keeping the blond in bed but didn't. 

A few minutes later there was a knock on the door and Fred opened it to two police officers, one of them a woman. They wanted to talk to Roger about the assault the night before. Brian stood up and said Roger was still drowsy and in some pain but they promised it wouldn't take long.

"May I be there when you talk to him?' Brian asked, afraid of Roger's fragility after the attack. He had no idea,

'Rog? Two police officers to see you. Okay if I stay with you?" Brian peeked around the doorway.

Roger nodded and sat up. Brian took the half eaten sandwich and put the plate on the desk. The older man sat on the side of the bed after he had brought an extra kitchen chair in.

The officers asked routine questions about place and time and then Brian who had mostly tuned them out heard the phrase 'attempted sexual assault' and stared at the drummer who had gone even paler and looked at his bandmate.

"Sexual assault?' Brian shook his head. This was the first he'd heard about.

"Attempted, Sir." The female officer corrected him. "At least that is what the attending officer told us." She looked at Roger who was looking odd. His breathing had increased and his large blue eyes seemed t have gotten wider. 

"He's having a panic attack." Brian hadn't seen it for a couple of years. But everything was closing in on the drummer and something he probably didn't want to think about was out in the open. Brian was swift and not caring what the two officers thought he immediately wrapped his arms tightly around the blond and instructed him on his breathing. It was probably painful for Roger as he was very bruised but it was the only proven way of dealing with it.

It took a couple of minutes to get the blond breathing under control and the two officers said they were sorry to upset him and they would come back in a couple of days. 

Freddie who had heard part of the conversation and after seeing the police officers out came back to see Brian in the kitchen getting a glass of water for Roger/

'What the fuck, Bri? He was sexually assaulted?" Freddie was beside himself. 'Bastards."

"Attempted, they said." Brian said but was that just what Roger had told them? The blond reaction a few minutes earlier was worrying. It had been so long since the drummer had gotten into that state and Brian was glad he had decided to sit in on the interview. 

"Here, Rog." Brian gave the drummer the glass of water and watched him drink it. It was a way of getting him to concentrate on something else. Brian watched him and was amazed as he was a few years ago when he had first met him on how really beautiful the blond was and not even in a feminine way. 

"Thanks for..." Roger sighed and looked on the verge of tears. He felt so emotional lately and he didn't know why. 

"No probs. love." Brian stroked back the blonds hair. "I really care about you." Brian didn't know what else to say. 

Roger nodded and tried to smile. "I just want to forget last night." He whispered and Brian took the glass from him.

"Don't think about it, Rog." Brian fixed the pillows behind the drummers back. "Do you want me to stay with you again tonight?" Brian took his hand and held it.

Roger nodded and tried to smile. "I'm feeling kind of weird, I guess." He wanted to say he hurt all over but thought it sounded babyish. He had a feeling he should have stayed at the hospital but would sound dumb to say anything now. 

Brian had told Freddie that he would stay with Roger again as he wasn't feeling well and the singer agreed he shouldn't be alone.

"Take my room, Bri. It has a bigger bed." Freddie didn't think anything of it but John, overhearing the exchange rolled his eyes. 

"Thanks." Brian gave the bassist a withering look and helped Roger out of his bed and into the larger one on Freddie's room.

They'd made a stop at the bathroom and Roger had to ask Brian to help him because he couldn't stand straight to pee. Brian stood behind him and kept an arm around the blond chest till he'd finished.

"So fucking embarrassing." Roger sighed and just wanted the ground to swallow him up. 

"Really, it's okay." Brian tried not to chuckle. Roger was adorable sometimes and especially when he wasn't feeling great. But the Brian remembered why Roger was unwell and felt guilty all over again. It was his fault and no one else. He'd be afraid of his own feelings and that had caused Roger to storm out and end up in a bad situation.

"You really don't mind staying with me?" Roger's voice sounded sad and lost and Brian shook his head that he didn't mind. He wanted to say "I love you' again but was afraid to. Instead, he said. "I'd do anything for you, Rog. Really." He got into the bed and took his book off the night table. He liked to read a few chapters before he went to sleep. 

Roger watched him and Brian turned and looked at the drummer. He put his arm out and Roger slid into it but it seemed with some pain as he frowned. He looked at the page Brian was reading till his eyes got heavy and he closed them. It was nice. He wished they'd done this sooner. He felt Brian kiss his forehead and wished he could get out the words he needed to. Maybe tomorrow or the next day. He hoped he didn't have another bad dream. 


	3. I don't want to talk about it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger and Brian get closer but the drummer is feeling the affects of the night before and needs his friends to rally around him.

But I don't want to talk about it. Do I have to?' Roger looked and sounded like a petulant child which was exactly how he felt. Standing there in pyjamas and sleep messed hair he had an arm wrapped around his side where it still hurt. Brian was standing behind him in case he needed steadying and wished they had made him stay the night in the hospital.

"Well, we can try and tell them you're sleeping." Freddie glanced at the clock. The police were suppose to be over soon but Roger really was in no mental condition to talk about what had happened. He noticed Brian's protective hand on the drummers upper arm and smiled to himself.

Roger looked up at Brian willing the taller man to agree to this. His whole world seemed to have done a complete turn in half a day and he just wanted to hide under the covers till he felt stronger to do deal with it all. He could see Freddie was saying something but it sounded distorted and for a moment he was sure he was going to embarrass himself even further and pass out but Brian had seemed to anticipate this and had crossed his arm around his chest to hold him up.

"He can't Freddie. He' going back to bed and I think we better get Dr Mark from downstairs to come up if he's home." Brian had taken over and was hoping a supportive arm around the drummer's waist. John had jumped up and went ahead to the bedroom looking worried. He pulled down the covers and straightened them as Brian eased Roger onto the bed. He was obviously in pain and Brian gave him a pain killer from the bottle given to them at the hospital. 

Fred called out he was going down to their friends Mark's place but Roger frowned when he heard this. He didn't want anyone else feeling sorry for him or asking questions. 

"It's okay, Rog. You don't have to talk to anyone yeah?' Brian adjusted the pillow behind the blond and gently lay him back. Roger's eyes were squeezed shut and a single tear ran down his cheek. The guitarist knew he must be hiding something about what had happened the night before but didn't want to unfairly pressure him to talk about it.

The night before kept replaying in Roger's head. He wished he could just cut it out with a knife. He was ashamed of himself for getting into such a predicament in the first place. He wanted to ask Brian to stay with him and not leave for a second. He felt childish and scared and couldn't tell anyone. He didn't want to talk to the police. He'd watched enough police shows to know how they dragged out every last embarrassing moment. 

Brian was standing in the doorway while Roger's University friend Mark examined him. He knew Roger trusted his friend. It was handy having hm downstairs. 

Brian watched as Roger winced when Mark gently touched his tummy. "You really got the worse of it'd didn't you?' Mark sighed.

"Not necessarily." Roger scoffed and Mark looked over at Brian who shrugged. Roger could normally defend himself in any situation so there had to be more to this than he was saying. But they couldn't make him. 

"I'm going to give you a sedative, Rog. So you can sleep and you'll probably feel a lot better. But...I don't want you to be alone." Mark raised his eyebrows at Brian who nodded that he would keep an eye on him.

"If you cough up or pass blood." Mark began but Roger glared at him and he shut up and trusted Brian would watch out for any signs.

"There." Mark had given him the injection and already the drummer was looking calmer thinking he wouldn't have to think for awhile.

Mark stood up and sighed. He motioned to Brian to follow him into the hallway. "If the police want to talk to him tell them I gave him a sedative so he could sleep off the pain and he should be better able to talk them.

"What happened, Bri? Do you know?" Mark crossed his arms and waited but Brian told him he didn't know. He didn't say he had an idea because that would be betraying Roger's trust. It was the blond who had to confide in him or whoever he felt comfortable talking to. 

Brian saw Mark to the door and then let Freddie and John know what was going on and that he would stay with him while he slept. 

"Let me know if I can take over or anything." John looked concerned and turned his head towards Roger's bedroom.

"Yeah, thanks Deaky." Brian really didn't know what the right thing to do was but as Roger was getting sleepy now the best thing to do immediately was to just sit with him till he fell asleep. 

The two police officers had arrived to question Roger but Brian showed them he as asleep after been given a sedative and mentioned Mark's name to verify that he was under a doctors care and not just avoiding them. Which he was, really.

Roger wasn't asleep as quickly at everyone thought. He drifted in and out and could hear voices but not what they were saying. Finally, it was all in distance and he fell asleep just as Brian sat down next to him. It was as if he knew he was there

Brian tried to read his book but it was hard going. He would rather watch Roger sleep with his hands curled under his chin and the blond waves half covering his face. He felt like reaching out and just touching him but didn't want to wake him though he expected the sedative was pretty strong. Mark said he would probably sleep most of the day.

Later that evening John had come back from shopping with Freddie and when Brian said Roger was still asleep the three sat down at the kitchen table. John had wanted to tell Brian something and Freddie nudged him.

"John's got something to tell you, Bri." Freddie put a can of beer down for each of them and emptied some crisps into a bowl.

"Yeah?" Brian turned to look at the bassist but had a bad feeling about what John was going to say. 

"I hate this." John frowned at Freddie and took a deep breath. "I think I know what happened to Roger. What really happened." He said.

"And what was that?" Brian felt a tenseness in his stomach.

"Those guys in the pub? They were going to rape him, Bri." John got tears in his eyes because the person who had told him the story had been there when the police had come and saw enough to know for certain.

"Who told you this?" Brian questioned him. "Do they know for sure? Not just gossip?" Brian had to be sure. it made sense the way Roger was acting. 

John explained his source. "I don't know much else, Bri. I just thought you should know, yeah?" John sighed and twisted the beer can in his hands.

"Thanks, John. Yeah, it's good that I know." Brian sighed and looked over his shoulder towards Roger's room. "What do I do now?" He asked Freddie who shrugged.

"Well, you have to let him tell you himself. I'm just worried that something did happen." Freddie wished he hadn't just said that because Brian went pale. 

"Oh, God." Brian put his hands over his face. 

"Shit, Bri. I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry." The singer to up and went round to the guitarist and rubbed his back.

John reached for Brian's beer and snapped it open and put it in front of him. Brian thanked him. He wanted to talk to them both about what he was feeling but it was so wrapped up in Roger's feelings and he'd kept it all to himself for so long. But his two friends already knew. Before Brian did himself.

Roger had slept through the day and later in the evening had gone to the bathroom, still feeling drowsy but Freddie had seen he was awake and made him eat something before going back to bed. They couldn't help being delicate with him but it alerted his suspicions even though he was too tired to say anything. 

Brian watched the drummer sitting at the kitchen table with a bowl of soup and half closed eyes. The spoon had stopped halfway to his mouth and he looked like a sleepy child in his pyjamas. Freddie had gently taken the spoon away and got a sleepy, lop sided smile from the blond who placed his chin in his hands and closed his eyes, again.

"I guess someone better go back to bed, Bri." Freddie took the bowl away. At least Roger had had some of it. "Will you stay with him?" Freddie didn't want his dear friend be by himself.

"Yeah, I'll grab a sleeping bag from the closet." Brian assured him. "He'll have to step on me to get up." He grinned.

"C'mon, Rog. If you're lucky I'll read you a bedtime story." Brian teased him and led him by the hand back to his room.

"Well." John looked at Fred and grinned. "I think there's a romance brewing."

"Ya, think?" Freddie rolled his eyes.

Roger had had bad dreams as a child but hardly ever since he was grown up. Tonight was the exception. He'd fallen into a normal sleep after his snack and had woken a couple of times to see Brian sleeping beside his bed with his brown curls spread out on the pillow. He watched him for a few minutes, thinking how incredibly handsome he was and hoping they really could have a relationship. But an hour Roger woke hearing a scream that he realised was from himself he panicked but Brian was there immediately with his arm around him.

"Rog, it's okay. You're safe, love." He naturally held him close and kissed him then felt bad as if he was taking advantage but the blond didn't seem to mind. He wanted to talk. He couldn't keep it in. He had dreamt he'd relived the night before and he couldn't stop shaking. It came out in disjointed sentences and though Roger thought he was making sense, Brian was confused about what he was hearing. Confused and alarmed and and feeling so protective he shocked even himself.

'Bri? Is everything alright?" Freddie was at the door and peeked around the corner. He saw the two together and Brian nodded at him and the singer left them, shutting the door quietly behind him.

"Was that Freddie?' Roger's voice was muffled against Brian's neck. He didn't want to move from this safe place. What had happened the night before was retracting into the distance, even the smells and terror. Because he had been in terror. Four men were going to rape him and he pushed the rest of it out of his mind and concentrated on Brian's voice and the smell of his skin and he closed his eyes again.

"We an talk in the morning, love." Brian held the blond head against his shoulder. He hated to think that something horrible happening to Roger had given him the opening to get closer to him. 

"Don't want to." Roger said sleepily. "Don't go, Bri." He whispered.

"I won't. I'm right here." Brian whispered.

Brian woke the next morning next to Roger. The guitarist was on top of the covers and the blond was snuggled up against him under the blankets. He could smell coffee and voices and sighed. He looked down at Roger's head on his shoulder and thought he'd never been so happy.

Freddie looked up from his newspaper when he heard the knock on the door. "It must be them, again." He looked at John who rolled his eyes and went to answer it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are very welcome.


End file.
